My attempted trek to the old office

Today I woke up early with the best intentions. I was going to go downtown, sit outside my building and beg. Should I beg for food? Should I beg for money? Should I work for donations, doing a little jig for passersby? It was a big decision.

Here's what I decided on. ------>

Would it make my coworkers feel awkward? Would it make my boss feel bad? Would it make the EVP of the company give me my job back? Yes, yes and absolutely not.

BUT, I think they would all realize that if my company were to ever go on the new Fox reality show, they would have to keep me solely based on the facts that I have cute cheerleader handwriting and I'm creative, replacing "for" with "4." Talk about being efficient! Plus, they'll always have someone who can make posters for pep rallies, which happen all the time in the corporate world.

Unfortunately, I didn't make it downtown today. I got distracted by news on the "Today" show that Harlequin novels are on the rise during the recession (which makes me convinced I perhaps could stay in writing) and that Bob Barker almost went into the adult film industry (complete with a really dirty, inappropriate and uncomfortable comment from Bob himself).

Instead I have done/will do the following today:

8:30-10: Watching "Today" show and starting on this blog post.

10-11:30: Watching "Crosswords," "Family Feud" and "Trivial Pursuit" while finishing up this blog post. Get a can of Diet Mt. Dew at 11.

11:30-12:15: Watching "The Price Is Right" and eating lunch. This will be my first real meal of the day, for I fear that I don't have enough money to eat my normal three meals plus two snacks daily.

12:15-1: Watching "The Martha Stewart Show" and perusing job postings (probably only for about 15 minutes, due to the lack of available jobs).

1-2: Watching "The View" and being annoyed with Elisabeth (please, just go back to "Survivor")...and everyone else on the show. Predicting how it will play out on the next episode of "SNL." I also will put in a load of laundry.

2-5: Really? I can watch judge-related shows for this long (taking into account the fact that I will be watching all of them DVRed and without commercials!!)?? I will work on my resume at this time while hearing about domestic disputes and people arguing over who owes who $10. Get another can of Diet Mt. Dew at 3 o'clock sharp.

5-6: Catching up on "The Hills" from Monday, as well as "The Daily Show" from last night. Realizing my life is pathetic, but not being too concerned.

6-7: Dinner and television with Patrick.

7-8: "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy." I must watch "Wheel" this week so I can enter to win a trip to Orlando...because it is my sole mission to enter any contest I can.

8-10: Watch two episodes of "The Office," "30 Rock" and "Parks & Recreation." Try to watch some of "Survivor." Also manage to fit in Pilates at some point while watching TV.

10-11: Resident brooder Ryan Atwood from "The O.C." comes back to Thursday nights in "Southland." My life becomes complete.

11: Head to bed, preparing for the entire routine to start again. Am I a little embarrassed of this schedule? Yes...a little. But I love TV too much to really care.